Lesbian Leixcon.

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I learned a new term the other day: Pillow Queen. This was brought to my attention via delightful lesbian blog F is Forr. You can read her video post which touches on the matter here. Very useful post. Consider it a crash course in dykedom. Lots of questions answered, some I didn’t even know I had.

A Pillow Queen is someone who is lazy in bed (ie they spend the whole time lying down – head on the pillow – and don’t do their fair share of the work – work?!). I didn’t even know this was a thing. If there’s a term for it, does this mean lesbians everywhere are frustrated by tier partners/dates/one night stands’ lack of effort in the bedroom?

I’m now worried.

Am I a Pillow Queen?!?!

How does one qualify as a PQ? Is there a minutes-lying-down-per-fuck quota you should avoid? How do you tell between lazy and submissive/uncertain/terrified/unable to reciprocate because she’s touching the secret ‘OH-OH-MY-GOD-OH-GOD-brain-function-shutting-down-now’ button?

I mean, is taking turns ok? Help!

I don’t want to be seen as lazy! I’m not lazy, I’m new – I’m taking notes! After reading this blog I spent the last time I had sex terrified of the pillow:

DON’T LIE DOWN L! Not even for a second! You are a proactive lesbian! Don’t be a selfish lay! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!

Straight-laying didn’t come with this level of anxiety (disappointment mostly – not anxiety). I mean, I’m blissfully happy to have come out and started floundering around beneath (NO! On top! On TOP!) of my preferred gender, but I seem to have re-set my sexual self esteem.

Just so I know, is there a lesbian sexual etiquette I should be aware of? Could someone fashion a cross stitch sampler of these rules so I can it hang over my bed for reference while I’m having sex? (right way up – I’ll read it while I’m avoiding the pillow).

L x

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